Roseanne

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Women are cursed and men are the proof.

I'm only upset that I'm not a widow. [On her ex-husband Tom Arnold]

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

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